"As my mom used to say, "When you're doing a puzzle, it's like you've got a thousand friends." She was full of fun lies like that."
"Sheldon, you do this all the time! You fixate on some crazy idea then blow it way out of proportion."
"That top has paid off in free drinks 10 times what I originally paid for it."
"You know, I hate that your sister and her friends used to torture you. But what I hate even more is, if I was there, I would have tortured you, too."
"For God's sake, Sheldon, do I have to hold up a sarcasm sign every time I open my mouth?"
"Brush your teeth and go to bed!"
"Jewelry? Seriously? Sheldon, you are the most shallow, self-centered person I have ever met! Do you really think another transparently manipulative - Oh, it's a tiara! Put it on me, put it on me, put it on me, put it on me."
"Once you're fluent in Mandarin, you'll have a billion more people to annoy instead of me."
"Going to Wheaton's party is not betraying you."
"What would you be if you were attached to another object by an inclined plane, wrapped helically around an axis?"




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