“Whenever I’m sad, I stop being sad and be awesome instead.”
“It’s just, eventually, we’re all gonna move on. It’s called growing up.”
“The future is scary, but you can’t just run back to the past because it’s familiar. Yes, it’s tempting, but it’s a mistake.”
“That cake. Best cake I ever had. Seriously, my stomach was like, ‘Hey bro, I don’t know what you’re eating cause I don’t have any eyes but it’s basically awesome, so keep sending it down Gullet Alley.’”
“Everyone has an opinion on how long it takes to recover from a breakup.”
“I realized that I’m searching, searching for what I really want in life. And you know what? I have absolutely no idea what that is.”
“Because sometimes even if you know how something’s gonna end, that doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy the ride.”
“That’s life, you know. We never end up where you thought you wanted to be.”
“Oh my god, look at you cowards. So afraid of any kind of change. So terrified of anything new. So, so desperate to cling to anything comfortable and familiar.”
“A lie is just a great story that someone ruined with the truth.”
“The three-day rule is a childish, manipulative mind game. But yeah, you wait three days.”
“I get recognized one time, and I start thinking I’m Julia Roberts. I’m no VIP; I’m not even an IP; I’m just a lonely little P sitting out here in the gutter.”
“Every Halloween, I bring a spare costume, in case I strike out with the hottest girl at the party. That way, I have a second chance to make a first impression.”
“Revenge fantasies never work out the way you want.”
“I finally found the one, Marshall. Her name is Bacon.”




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